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Friday, February 15, 2008

Nuttin' Honey

You know athletes are getting in trouble all the time for using performance enhancing drugs to help them win races or be better players at their game. Brian considered all of those drug options before discovering an all natural product designed to enhance his overall performance and athletic ability . What is this amazing product you ask?

A jar of nuts in honey.

Notice the strong man on the jar's label. Notice the label actually says "Super Performance Doping". And the fine print. What does it say? "For every one who wants to be young with a strong mind and nerves for every old man who dreams to have his youth back."


Just look at how well it worked for Brian. BUFF and TOUGH! Yep...underneath those five sweaters he's wearing lies a man of steel!

Actual ingredients as written on jar: honey, beemilk, pistachio, almond, hazelnut, caraway, pineseed, walnut, peanut, raisins, coconut, radishseed, blackcumin, apricotseed, pollen

8 comments:

derya said...

you made me laugh out loud:) you know why they put a 'strong' man on the label. it's not for his athletic abilities. that stuff is known as natural aphrodisiac, that is his 'strength'.. hehehe.. you blog was rated pg right?

Dixon Ailesi said...

derya - well surely you noticed that i said "enhance his overall performance". i was trying to be discreet! thanks for pointing out the true nature of this product! and no, my blog was rated R. this just helps me earn it!

Gina said...

POLLEN??? So allergies are supposed to..um...'help' you?? Maybe I should QUIT taking allergy medicine and just eat more 'pollen'! That's really funny.

scmom said...

Okay, first the comment about the thong. Then, you're talking about Brian "enhancing his performance". I think I'm gonna have to block your website! But since I'm here, let me share... in SS class last week, our teacher said there is only one thing that a wife can do for a husband that no one else can do. He then went on to say that it is only for a couple of hours a few times a week. I almost laughed out loud! Maybe he has some of that product Brian is holding...

Dixon Ailesi said...

amy - your comment made me laugh out loud! i hope my blog isn't too risque for you. i have just needed to say a few things. sorry if they were questionable! i tried to call you to discuss your concerns, but alas i couldn't find your cell number and you weren't home. aren't you in kh's ss class? so funny!

Dixon Ailesi said...

gina - i know. when you look in the jar it just looks like a bunch of chopped up nuts. i can't tell the difference except the pistachios are green. the jar is lined with nuts in a pretty pattern, but the inside is just all mixed together. my question was about the beemillk. i didn't realize that a bee was a mammal. what exactly is beemilk?

derya said...

ok, here is what bee milk is, man, it's quite interesting:
Royal Jelly
This creamy-white sticky fluid is a blend of two secretions from the glands of the worker bees. It is the sole source of nourishment for the queen bee throughout her life. Since royal jelly enables the bee to become a queen, some people believe they can recapture their lost youth by eating it. China, where cost-saving techniques have been devised for gathering it, is a major exporter of royal jelly. Details of methods of collection are a closely guarded secret. It is sometimes called 'bee milk'.

p.s: it's sad that i took the time to find out. not that it's almost 1 am in the morning:)

Dixon Ailesi said...

derya - see i knew i could count on you to tell me. i could have looked it up myself. i was sitting at the computer writing that i didn't know what it was, but i didn't take the seconds it would have taken to look it up. this is why you will be Dr. Dumlu, and i will stay plain ol' natalie. way to be a smartie!