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Monday, March 17, 2008

A confession - edited to include a picture

On Saturday at 6pm Brian, Adam, and another friend, Greg decided to drive 12 hours to Didim to watch an American football game. The players were all college and career-aged Turks. They arrived in Didim at 4am Sunday and slept in the car for a couple of hours before going to breakfast, having coffee, eating lunch, drinking tea, and chatting with strangers. The game was at 1pm on Sunday. At 4:30pm they headed home. Here is the conversation Brian and I had today in the car concerning his trip.

Brian: I have a confession.
Natalie: Really?
Brian: Yeah. This is hard to say. It's good you are already sitting down.
Natalie: You slept with Adam and Greg didn't you.
Brian: Yeah, but it was just a couple of hours in the van...and it meant nothing to me. It's worse than that.
Natalie: Ok...just tell me.
Brian: Ok...while on my trip...I um...I lost my squatty potty virginity.
Natalie: Wow! That is big. Whew. I'm not sure what to say.
Brian: I know. I told you it was bad.
Natalie: Well...you might as well tell me how it was.
Brian: It wasn't bad. After it was over I put on my clothes and left, and the thought that kept going through my mind was, "is that it?"
Natalie: I'm sorry.
Brian: I know.


Yes folks, it's true. We have lived here for 6 years, and Brian had never done more than pee in a squatty...which doesn't really count since how hard is it to pee in a hole in the ground. Don't judge him. Just be here for him. He needs us right now.

25 comments:

HeyJoe said...

I need a little more education I think.

A squatty, I'm assuming, is similar to an outhouse or "porta-potty?" HeyJoe needs a picture.

Why must one remove their clothes in order to use one? He states "I put my clothes on..." Or in this instance does removing clothes basically mean drop trou?

Unless it was an emergency, I don't think I could crap in a hole in the ground. I'd fare poorly in prison, and not just because I'm pretty.

kristy in nc said...

I can only hope that I too will remain a squatty potty virgin for as long as possible following my upcoming move across the big pond. I have SERIOUS anxiety about using one.

Natalie said...

heyjoe - edited to include a picture for you.

also brian says it was an emergency. only an emergency would make him squat that low. and yes he removed his pants completely. he had a 12 hour drive in front of him and he didn't want anything accidently left behind him. (ok...not his exact words...but he was worried about messing his pants.)

kristy - i have used a squatty on many many occasions. it isn't hard at all. and i don't have to remove my clothes! you can do it. i have faith in you.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I lost mine at a teahouse in Russia. Unless you count all the times camping when you had to dig a trench. (Mrs. captecon)

Nikki said...

HAHAHAHAHA. Poor Brian. He's going to need some extra care and love for a few things. Sending good and comforting thoughts his way.

He's a very brave man.

HeyJoe said...

Thank you for the detailed explanation and the picture. I think.

HeyJoe said...

How do you flush it?

Natalie said...

mrs. captecon - your comment made my day. so funny. brian laughed, too.

nikki - yes...life with brian is one big adventure after another. he is doing ok. admitting it happening was the first step.

heyjoe - you are welcome. for more on squatties, including how to flush, see this post.

http://dixonsturkey.blogspot.com/2007/02/for-paula.html

Jay Anderson said...

You know, there is such a thing as TMI - too much information.

I lived with Brian for 2 years, and I still didn't need to know that.

Rebecca said...

You have GOT to be kidding me! Inanmiyorum ya! Brian, what kind of a man are you? Ankara has spoiled you, plain and simple!

Natalie said...

jay - that is seriously how the conversation went. oh wait...i did leave off this part...

natalie: you know i'm blogging this, right?
brian: i know.

sorry if it was too much info. i just had to share it because of how ridiculous we sounded.

rebecca - i know. seriously. he was proud of the fact that he could hold it for days if he needed to. but this...this was an emergency, and he couldn't wait. i'm proud of him for admitting defeat.

Crystal DeLong said...

what can i say to that? thanks so much for sharing, that made my evening!

Natalie said...

crystal - i'm glad you enjoyed it. the conversation was quite funny as it was happening i must admit, but we were so serious until the end. he is a funny guy!

Anonymous said...

hey Brian
I am praying for you and I too hope to be as brave as you. You are still my hero. I know that God will call me someday to the dangers that you have endured.
Billy of Missouri
oh by the way I had used one yet.

Mike S said...

Hehehe. We called them 'bombsight sh***ers' years ago. After a few days trudging about the S.E. Asian countryside courtesy Uncle Sugar's travel service they actually were a big step up. Never stripped for one that I recall. The ones in Japan were always my favs, they even made those 'high-tech':)

Natalie said...

mike - that's funny. i've never heard them called that here! and i can't even imagine a high-tech one. they pretty much all look like the one pictured...well in various states of clean. ewwww...

Natalie said...

billy - well...i'm sure you will get your chance. you come enough and are bound to have tummy issues at some point!

Latisha said...

Well I am sure that Brian has hoped that everyone has moved on from this post but I just read it and thank you for entertaining me. I told your brother and he agreed on why it took so long.
The comment from Mrs. captecon... Wow I had to lol!!! When I read it I did not get who it was at first! That made it funnier but dont tell her. As she reads this I know!! JK LOL!!!!!

Natalie said...

latisha - i know. she cracked us up with her comment as well. i love that she put her two cents in though. funny stuff!

Gina said...

Ah...piece of cake!! Of course, when you gotta go, you GOTTA go no matter WHAT you go in!! My biggest concern was keeping my balance while at the same time trying to keep my clothes from getting wet.

Natalie said...

gina - i agree and evidently brian had to GO! i still find it funny!

scmom said...

Well, steph just got back from greece and was telling me details of each picture on her camera. We came across one of a squatty and she told me it was a turkish toilet. She and her friend went in to "go" but there was no tp so they skipped it. Apparantly they didn't need to go too bad. They were wondering about if they would have had to take their clothes off to use it. Steph is a germaphobe so this could have sent her over the edge. She was wondering about shoes- ...

Natalie said...

scmom - well...steph is not alone in her fear of the turkish toilet. if you squat down far enough your shoes aren't a problem...really. there is always the spatter issue though. we just get over it. i have a link to a post about the turkish toilet in one of my earlier comments. you should let her read it. i warned to bring your own toilet paper in that one!

Black Hockey Jesus said...

That is awesome.

Natalie said...

bhj - i thought you might like it!