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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Writing

I don't feel like writing. I just don't have it in me. Someone important to me told me to write so I am trying my hardest to get to a place where I can.

Lately I've been reading the book Traveling Mercies; Some Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott. In it she talks about losing her best friend to breast cancer. I loved the way she described the grieving process.

Grief, as I read somewhere once, is a lazy Susan. One day it is heavy and underwater, and the next day it spins and stops at loud and rageful, and the next day at wounded keening, and the next day at numbness, silence.

Later she says that her lazy Susan stopped at feelings of homesickness.

I can't tell you how many times I reread those lines. They made me think, contemplate, pray. And to be honest I am writing some, but nothing I have written can be shared here. I'm not there yet.

9 comments:

Sra said...

Anne Lamott is also the author of a great book about writing called Bird by Bird. It's funny and helpful, and about taking things one day at a time. I can recommend it.

barefoot gypsy girl said...

I've read nearly all Anne Lamott's books. I love her writing-style.

Mamadallama said...

Unfortunately, I know all about grief and the lazy Susan quote is pretty spot on.

As to not wanting to share everything you've written, that's fine. There are some things that are meant for the author's eyes only. Sometimes I just need to spill my feelings but I don't want anyone to be the recipient. It is a relief, sometimes, to just write it down. Especially when I feel 'stuck' on one feeling/phrase. Writing it down allows me to move on at least a little bit.

Insane Mama said...

Sometimes you just have to write to get through the not wanting to...

Amy said...

I love you girl. God is good...All the time!

Your Pal Pinki said...

Just stopping by to say hi!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Oh, shoot. Someone already mentioned Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. I was going to say the same thing.

Jennifer H said...

Right there with you...and your instinct to turn to Anne Lamott were right on. I've been thinking that Bird by Bird would help right now.

Sending good thoughts and a gentle nudge to keep writing...

Natalie said...

sra - thanks. evidently judging from these comments i should definitely look into that book!

barefoot gypsy - i don't think you are alone!

mamadallama - i know what you mean. there are things i have written that aren't very nice sometimes. i don't want to be mean, but i have to get some of the yucky out. it helps to write it down and then walk away from it.

insane mama - i know. i think that is where i am. but for me it isn't so much that i don't want to, but i am feeling a little like i can't. it will pass i know.

amy - thanks! for everything.

pinki - hi!

nanny goats - i'm adding that book to my list of stuff to read when i get to the states. looks like a good one!

jennifer - thanks. i bought the anne lamott book last christmas, but never looked at it until early sept. even then it was ok, but i wasn't that interested. now was when i needed to read it i guess!