The summer after 8th grade my family moved to a small town north of Houston. It was only a move of about 20 miles, but those 20 miles were significant. Those 20 miles meant changing schools. I had already gone to three different schools so it wasn't a big deal to me. I started high school that fall and loved the small town feel of it. The best part was that the high school had been growing significantly so the 9th grade was given a campus all it's own. I loved that! I didn't have to wonder who the upperclassmen were. Everyone in my school was in 9th grade just like me.
Because I was new in the district I didn't know anyone. I watched the kids to see who I wanted to be friends with. I always seemed to plan these sorts of things. I guess that was a side effect of moving a lot. The planning. Friendships happened naturally for me, but for some reason some people stood out more than others. There were people I noticed. In 9th grade that person was a cute, blond girl in my dance class. She seemed fun and was well liked by the other girls. She had a best friend who she seemed to spend a lot of time with. I tried to be her friend. I tried to sit by her in class. I did whatever my 9th grade self thought to do to be noticed by this girl. Once she was fixing her hair after class, and I told her how cute it looked. She asked her best friend what she thought and then proceeded to take her friend's advice and change it. It was obvious. She wasn't interested. She had friends already and didn't need another one. I eventually stopped trying to be her friend and made other friends. I never did stop idolizing this girl though.
The funny thing is that I'm sure she had her own insecurities back then. What 9th grade girl doesn't? I'm sure she had no idea I was trying so hard to be her friend. I was fairly shy so I didn't do anything over the top to get her attention. I bet she didn't even think about it. She was never mean or ugly to me at all. She just didn't notice me.
Recently I noticed this girl, the one I had so desperately wanted to be friends with, on facebook. I didn't go searching for her. We had some mutual friends, and a notice popped up on the sidebar that told me I might know her. I thought about how much I had wanted to be her friend back in 9th grade. I wondered how she had changed since that time. I decided to send her a friend request just to see what would happen. She accepted it. After all these years I can finally say I'm her friend. I don't think she remembers me, and I didn't send a note with my request. Still, she said yes so I am counting it!
Amended...I certainly hope nobody is taking this post the wrong way. It was meant as a look back at a little of the angst of a 14 year old, and as 14 year olds go I had a perfect home life so really there was very little angst there. Having a 9th grader who is new to a school has had me thinking a lot about 9th grade and making friends lately. It was interesting to me that I saw this girl on facebook after I had already thought of "our" story. I am even tempted to let her know I've blogged it. She seems like a lovely person and might like to know that someone thought she was so great all those years ago! If she hadn't accepted my friendship request I wouldn't have been offended at all. I honestly can't see how she would remember me. I moved again after 10th grade so we only went to school together for 2 years. And in the grand scheme of life and things it really wasn't much of a story!