Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Food Review 3

Because the last food review was such a big hit I have forced my kids to taste more potentially disgusting things for your enjoyment. This time we went with things that made us think we were indulging in a little something special. Not just juices. No siree. This time we were looking for things that came in silver cans. And amber bottles. And maybe, just maybe, if we crossed our eyes and held our heads at just the right angle as we swallowed we could convince ourselves that there was a little something special in them. Because here at the Dixon house we don't indulge in drinks that actually have something special in them. We are a soda household. And if we are feeling like we need a little bit of a kick we mix Coke with Sprite. I'm telling you...it totally works!

First up we have a can of Red Bull. In reading about this drink on Wikipedia (which we all know is the best place for accurate information) I see that it is available in the states. I had no idea.

Now I should say that Will was extremely excited to try a Red Bull. He had been begging for one for a long time. I couldn't see spending $2 on a can of energy. Twice the caffeine of a can of coke. What kid needs that much caffeine? But for you my dear friends I happily forked out the money. I was willing to deal with the bouncing off the walls. The leg tremors at night. The crash afterwards. Anything for you.

And Will's verdict. Tastes like cough medicine. Not at all like the mixed berries Wikipedia claims it is supposed to taste like. Man. I thought it was going to be really good. I'm very disappointed.

Jacob wasn't quite as willing to try this drink. He has never had a desire to drink a Red Bull. And it smelled suspiciously like the cough syrup Will claimed it tasted like.

Ew. Yuck. I am not trying anything else. I am not going to taste anything else in any more taste tests ever. You can't make me. They are getting worse and worse. Seriously.

Then a few days later I ran across this little gem of a drink in a store that sold imported items. (This is what Andrea was telling me about in the comments on the last taste test.) I have to buy this for a taste test! Brian wholeheartedly agreed.

After seeing it poured in the nice, clean, white styrofoam cup he wasn't so sure about it. What color is that exactly?

It smells like grain...like wheat or something. That can't be good.

Down the hatch.

Well now. That tasted like...um...liquid bread. Like really bad liquid bread.

Will closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at it as he tasted it.

I don't know what that was. I can't even explain it. Like something I have never tasted before. Something not good that I've never tasted before. Something not good that I never want to taste again.

And then it was Jacob's turn.

No. I am not tasting it. I told you I wasn't doing anymore taste tests.

Ok...but this is the last one. Seriously. I am not doing this again.

I knew it. I should never have let her convince me.

And then he did this. And made me promise not to put the picture on the blog. He was wiping his tongue with the towel as he tried desperately to remove all the flavor of the Vita Malt from his mouth. And he told me that he was never doing another taste test again. EVER. And this time I think he might mean it.

Wait! Look kids...Wine-rgy bars. I bet these taste like wine! Let's try some.

Oh wait. Winergy rhymes with energy? Like as in Win-ergy? Never mind.

PS. When we moved to Turkey we made the decision not to drink alcohol for personal reasons. We have no problems with those who do drink. Cheers!

PPS. Jacob gave final approval on the picture hiding the actual face he made as he attempted to clean his taste buds.

PPSS. The girls were at camp so they totally missed out. Poor girls.


Lost In Splendor said...

This is SO funny! I have to go back and read the ones that I missed. Yuck, RedBull is disgusting. I hope you do more of these taste tests.

Anonymous said...

I don't like Red Bull either. As a Mountain Dew drinker I prefer AMP evergy drink. http://www.ampenergy.com/

It doesn't taste as good as regular Mountain Dew, but what does?

Anonymous said...

Red Bull is nasty. I dont blame them for not liking it!! gross


Anonymous said...

OK... I am holding you personally responsible if I laugh in my sleep tonight! I am giggling too hard to talk and it is your fault right now!

If I were doing something important in front of a group of people right now, they would check me into the psych ward.... seriously!

I love this post, one of the funniest things you have ever written!

Andrea said...

Oh Man! I can't believe that you tried the Vita Malt!! Ugh. It was so bad....I can't believe that I even saw kids at the zoo drinking it one time. There is a bad tasting clear liquor that I tried in Greece that tastes like black licorice. I think they are rivals for bad taste...

I loved the post-at your families' expense; they are such good sports!

Anonymous said...

Whoa! So funny! I hope Jacob will reconsider since his tastings are so honest and downright entertaining! Please, Jacob, please? Mamadallama

HeyJoe said...

Yes I noticed the girls were suspiciously missing. I thought maybe they just got smart and disappeared when they saw you come home with new items.

I'm SOOO behind in catching up on reading blog posts. Not sure I'll ever catch up so I may just have to move forward.

Jennifer S said...

Um, lucky girls?

I have never tried Red Bull, but I do like Starbucks Espresso Doubleshot. Just not very often.

Your boys are brave. I would have had to plug my nose for that last one!

Natalie said...

sparkliesunshine - thanks. we had fun doing these...well everybody but jacob!

missnightowl - i didn't like the redbull at all either. when we get back to the states i'll have to try a ampenergy. they don't have mountain dew here so we are out of luck!

#2 - i totally agree. i'll just stick with diet coke.

charlie girl - thanks. i'm glad you laughed.

andrea - i know...it was so nasty. of course i had to try it too, but i made sure there were no pictures of me actually doing so. i control the camera in this family! that clear licorice is called raki in turkey. everyone loves it. we haven't tried it but have heard it is nasty!

mamadallama - i read your comment to jacob, and he still says no. i'll have to find something yummy for a taste test. just so that i can build up his agreeableness again.

heyjoe - yeah...those girls. they missed out! i would say just move forward. mark everything as read and pretend like you didn't miss anything!

jennifer h - i have never tried an espresso doubleshot. no telling how i would react to that!

Johnson Journal said...

That Vita Malt stuff is what they "make" you drink after having a baby in Turkey to make your milk come in. After one taste we poured it down the drain! It was nasty! ej

Natalie said...

johnson - it was nasty! i took one little sip and can't even believe people drink this on purpose!

oh...and we are going to miss seeing you guys in august! it just won't seem the same without you.