Wednesday, May 21, 2008

matter of course is you (all your base are belong to us)

Brian and I will be celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary in June. We have a lot going on this summer so Brian thought it would be fun to get away for a couple of nights to celebrate. He was online tonight looking at hotels near the Aegean Sea. One place looked really nice. The pictures showed new bungalows with a mountain view in the back and a view of the sea in the front. The type of place where marketing would be pretty important. The website should be clean, easy on the eyes, and the descriptions of the property should flow like poetry. Everything looked great...and then he started reading...

Our plant was completed in May 2007 and opened for our customers. 12 bungalows are located in our 6000 sqm area, respectively with 30 qm of living space. For the construction of the bungalows local materials not containing pollutant were used. There are a double bed and one of extendible couch in every bungalow. Here you can comfortably and healthily live and stay with your family. Matter of course is you/toilet as well as an air conditioner a modern. On our big lawn you can sunbathing rest or drive a different sports.

Become their meals in our open restaurant, see the powerful mountains the turquoise blue sea served by the other side from a side.

The meals are prepared by our family from vegetables and fruits which are local and not treated. We are sure that the days which will spend her with me and with my family remain unforgettable for you.

They will have the desire every year like the sea turtles Caretta Carettas to come again here.

Greetings and a healthy life.

We are so there!


Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the big 17th wedding anniversary!

I am sure I speak for all your readers when I say, "We want pictures!"

LiteralDan said...

The sad part is that I've seen some native speakers write at pretty close to that level. It always grates on me, and I would boycott the business over it if it wasn't so sadly common.

I could forgive them their English approximation since they obviously have as tenuous a grasp on the language as I do on most others. The important question is, would they pay me to translate their translation into real English? I'd be more than willing.

maris said...

Funny thing is, I am 'directly' translating those sentences in my mind and they still don't make sense. At this point, I'd like to blame the Greeks ;)
You've got to go there. Look at it this way, they are so sure that their place is awesome that they don't even worry about their language. :)

Rhonda said...

Ok, that is hilarious. I know all about trying to decipher that kind of talk...as I married into a Swiss family and when they are talking/writing Swiss-German, it can become quite distorted.

Thank you for your comment and wanting to be a part of the blog I am creating. I will have up and going this fall and will let you know what's up! Of course, it sounds like you have a lot of great experiences to share!

Turkey?! Lucky you. I think that is such a once in a lifetime wonderful opportunity for your whole family.

Sharon said...

This is cracking me up! I think literaldan is on to something. We could all make a fortune helping foreign websites use proper English.

HeyJoe said...

I love the butchering of English.

That be said, personally I like a little pollutant with my materials. And an air-conditioned toilet?! How fine is THAT?

Become the meal, Natalie. FOCUS!

HeyJoe said...

Oh, and congratulations. Lisa and I celebrated #17 this past February. How coincidental is that?

becky marshall said...

disturbing. Especially the part about becoming their meals in an open restuarant...do they have cannibals in Turkey?

Anonymous said...

I'm going to need to dig into your archives to find out how you came to be living in Turkey.

Off topic, but you have a beautiful family! :)

Mentanna said...

did everyone seem to miss the fact that the website is trying hard to convince the reader that you won't die if you come to stay with them? the butchered english was secondary to...plant, pollutant, healthily live, not treated....does anyone but me get the impression that this place is built on a nuclear power plant with a purple river running through the middle of it?

Natalie said...

charlie girl - thanks! there will be pictures for sure.

literaldan - you would think that paying a native speaker to help in translation would pay off, but evidently they thought they had a pretty good grasp on the english language.

derya - thank you for not pointing out that my turkish is way worse than this! i blame that on the greeks too!

rhonda - thanks for your visit! translating language often makes for fun times around here!

look forward to the blog!

sharon - i know! so funny. maybe brian can make a few bucks by offering to help them! long time no talk!

heyjoe - my favorite line was the become the meal one. oh...and the one about "the days which will spend HER with me and my family. i was wondering who HER was...

and thanks for the congrats!

becky - disturbing...i know. they don't have cannibals here. the turkish word for cannibal is yam yam...which sounds a lot like yum yum. should i be worried?

walking - i'm not sure if it says in my archives. the short version is that we had a friend who was looking for help with his business here so we decided to take the plunge.

mentanna - hm...i hadn't thought of that. i was so worried about becoming the meal that i didn't think about the health risks.

Anonymous said...

I'd go, just in case they have some great signage you can blog about. I have a photo of a sign in a Korean elevator that said, "To press the button with your finger ONLY". I always laugh to think what people were using before the sign went up.

By the way, thanks for commenting on Sweet Life!

Natalie said...

andrea - that is funny! who knows...those crazy english speakers might have been using their toes!

Anonymous said...

I am so jealous......a weekend away in their plant??

What could be more romantic?


Natalie said...

gaining #2 - well...i'll be sure to take pictures so you can live vicariously through me! i'll be the one behind the bio-hazard suit and gas mask.