Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Excited, Scared, Sad

Those were the words Will used to describe his feelings about going back to America for 7 months. We were saying prayers one night, and I asked him if he was excited about going back. He said, "a little". I asked if he was scared and his answer, again, was "a little" and then he volunteered "and I'm a little sad too". I told him I understood his feelings exactly. That is how I feel too. I am excited to be able to see family and friends and eat things that I have missed. I am scared/worried about the kids being in school there, about feeling overwhelmed with cultural differences and about not having really close relationships. And I am sad about leaving the team and friends here that have come to be like family to me. I look back at life in America, and I can pinpoint times when God really spoke to me or when I really felt like God was teaching me truth about himself. But they were just incidents among many other "normal" times. I relied on myself when things were tough, and I figured out how to fix what wasn't right. I look back at life here in Turkey, and I feel like it has been a 4 year long incident or lesson! I have had to rely on God so much more here. I realized very quickly that I was not capable of fixing the things that weren't going right. I had to depend on God to see me through. I feel like I have learned volumes about who God is and who He created me to be. I think part of me is worried that I will go back to the states and become complacent about things again...that I will not be intune to what is going on around me. I pray that God will bring people into my life to speak truth, to call me on things when I am being disobedient, and to love me and encourage me. I ask that you pray for our family as we finish our last 6 weeks here and as we begin to adjust to life in America again. Yesterday Erica said she couldn't wait for school to be over, but then she added "except that means we have to go back to America". I guess we all are feeling it. God is good, and He is faithful. I know He will use many of you to teach us many things while we are there. Thanks for being faithful to pray for us.


Anonymous said...

You're coming to the states! I forgot how soon that was coming up. I also forget where you'll be home based while you're here, but I'm hoping it's near Austin and we can see yall while we're on the same continent! Matt and I are taking a group to Morocco this summer but we're sure missing Turkey!

Mentanna said...

hey nat, know how you are feeling. i will be praying for you as you go home. i hope it will be relaxing, refreshing but not a vacation from god.

Anonymous said...

I now understand a couple of things better than I did before. Has anything changed since this post?