Stressing out - Written Feb. 1

Last week I applied for a teaching job. It was a rather unexpected event to tell you the truth. I knew that I might need to move back into teaching in the fall. I knew that I would need more money. I decided to check into some job fairs that many school districts have in the spring. When I looked at one of the area school district's website I noticed that they had an opening for a kindergarten position. I debated applying but decided that it wouldn't hurt to send in my application. That was done last Sunday. Monday afternoon I got a call about an interview for later in the week. I wasn't sure what to think. I wasn't sure what to tell my current employer. I decided not to say anything because the chance of me actually getting the job was pretty slim, and I certainly didn't need to cause my employer to stress out. On Wednesday my boss made some comment about me turning in my 2 weeks notice. I wasn't sure if one of the two people I had confided in had mentioned my interview to her or not. I explained what was going on, and she freaked. She was totally joking when she said what she said about me giving her two weeks notice. I told her that I wasn't really looking...that I just had the one interview. That in the fall I would probably need to do something that offered more benefits. I think she would have handled it okay, but the district manager happened to visit. She didn't handle it well at all. She kept telling me that I could make the same amount that the teaching job offered at my current job. She is right. I could make the same amount. The difference is that word...could. Teaching I will make that amount. I will have a number of sick days. I will automatically have vacation days for Spring Break, Christmas, and Thanksgiving. There will be retirement benefits as well. I don't have any of those things where I currently work. If I want to take a vacation I won't get paid. If I am sick or one of my kids is sick and I miss work...no money. I do have insurance but no retirement. I love my job. I really do, but I know that I won't be able to support myself on it for long. I can't continue to live paycheck to paycheck. I have to be saving some money. On Friday I had to leave work early. About 15 minutes before I left a girl showed up to interview for my position. I couldn't believe it. It really stressed me out! I didn't have a chance to talk to my boss about it then, and she is on vacation until tomorrow. I have no idea what will happen. I don't think they will do anything crazy, but at this point I'm not sure. I won't be fired. I know that much for sure. I just don't want to be demoted. Even if they keep me at the same pay scale I will lose my insurance. I won't have the extra money that comes with my job. I need every bit of what I make.

As far as the teaching job goes...I interviewed. I felt like it went well. I know for a fact that at least one other person interviewed for the job. We passed in the parking lot. On the interview table I saw 3 folders similar to the one they put my information in. So I am guessing that there were 4 of us interviewing that day. After the interview I asked the principal when she was going to make a decision. She said it would be a couple of weeks. That tells me that more people will probably be interviewing. I have no idea what my chances are. I haven't had a teaching job in 15 years. I thought the interview went well. I don't know Spanish which would be an asset. I've lived overseas and experienced different cultures which seemed to impress the panel. I have absolutely no idea which way this will go. I really wouldn't care so much about not getting the job if I hadn't said anything to my boss. As it stands now I am going to be a little stressed until I talk to her. Hopefully that will be tomorrow. Hopefully after talking to her I will feel better and not worse!