fun times overseas

For those of you missing Turkish culture posts here's a little ditty. A friend of mine in Turkey recently wrote this on her blog...

Last night we were invited to our neighbor's home for dinner. We have been invited into various homes for tea and have, of course, dined with Turkish friends who are connected to the school, but this was a first for us and was an invitation we happily accepted.

Just before we walked out the door, we endured (caused) a big commotion about house shoes. The neighbor lives right across the hall, so we had several options regarding footwear:

a)wear outdoor shoes to walk across the hall and wear our socks in the house (which would make the host feel obligated to provide house shoes for all 6 of us)

b)run across the hall in socks (which would cause them to worry that we might all get sick because we didn't have outdoor shoes in the hallway)

c)wear outdoor shoes and take a big pile of our own house shoes to put on after we got there (which might make them think we didn't expect them to be good hosts and provide enough house shoes)

d)wear our house shoes across the hall (which would make them be considered 'dirty' when we entered the house)

You laugh, but we stood in our entry for a full 5 minutes trying to figure out what to do. This is a BIG deal here. Cleanliness is part of the religion prevalent in this country. Not wearing outdoor shoes in the house is a BIG deal. But also, making sure your feet are in shoes is a big deal because many believe illnesses are caused by being in socks only (or worse, bare feet...little do they know what a hillbilly I really am in secret). Everyone was throwing out suggestions. Mary Erin had an enormous armful of house shoes to carry over, convinced she had the right idea. Eva had her crocs and her puffy princess shoes in her hands and was planning to carry both. Annika had her house shoes already on. Ross was saying to me, "Are THOSE our house shoes? Where did we get those? I thought you said we shouldn't take all those shoes, why are you telling us to bring our own house shoes now?" I finally halted everyone and said, "Look! Just trust me. I don't have time to explain..Ross, wear outdoor shoes and take no house shoes. Wear socks in the house or take the house shoes they offer you. Girls, wear outdoor shoes and take your own house shoes. That way they can provide shoes for the adults but don't have to outfit all of you kids." Then Esther panicked, "But I don't HAVE house shoes, they are at school!" (Yes, the kids wear house shoes in the school when it is wet outside and they come in from recess.) So I said, "Ok, Esther, just wear outdoor shoes and then your socks unless they give you shoes." Mary Erin said, "Mom, my feet are big enough for adult house shoes, can I just wear my outdoor shoes?" "YES! Now GET OUT the door!" We also quickly discussed how to handle the prayer and decided that since it was their home, we'd each bow and have our own silent prayer. 3 seconds later we had crossed the hall, all smiles, pretending we had no stress, and accepting house shoes for anyone who didn't come with their own. Can you believe all that?

The story made me laugh thinking about how true it is! We have experienced similar issues when visiting the neighbors in our building. If you are interested in hearing more from them you can check out her blog here.

ag's guest post

Anna Grace has requested to do a guest blog post on my site. I am handing over the keyboard to her. Ladies and Gentlemen...Anna Grace.


The camping trip was so fun. We went on two trails. After we went on the 2nd trail Jacob and I were aloud to walk in the stream with our shoes on. We saw a mouse and a frog that looked like it was dead. Erica caught a baby frog and I caught a tadpole. Will and Erica were scared wile we were going there and wile we were coming back, because of the big cliff. The last time we went there were baby frogs everywhere. We got to feed a little bird. This has been Anna Grace Dixon with your camping report.

Ahhh...the great outdoors.

So we went camping. And honestly I don't have much to say about it except it was beautiful. The weather was perfect and the green was needed. It was nice to get out of the concrete jungle for a few hours. Here are some pictures and some commentary when necessary.


The road to the camping spot. This was the good part of the road.






One of my most favorite things about Turkish culture is their sense of hospitality. This particular camping spot doesn't allow you to build fires on the ground. They have these community grills set up so that all fires are contained in one place. While Brian was cooking the people you see behind him came over and gave us half of a watermelon. They cut it and basically made us all eat some.


Later another group of campers came and gave Brian this plate of rice. It was delicious! There were tiny pieces of shredded chicken mixed in. It tasted just like Cajun jambalaya. I almost went over and got the recipe! The next morning a man stopped by while we were having breakfast with a loaf of bread from his father-in-law's bakery. Seriously...we were sad we couldn't share our food. I mean we could have, but I'm pretty sure the bags of chips and snack cakes from a package wouldn't have been appreciated. I'm telling you...nobody does camping and picnic food like the Turks!

This little bird hopped around our table anytime we were sitting there. At one point he hopped onto the table to make sure we saw him. It was nice seeing some wildlife. This may not seem like wildlife to you, but we don't get much in Ankara. Lots of pigeons and not much else. We also watched frogs, tadpoles, and a snake swimming in the water, a little brown mouse come out of his hole to get some of the bread crumbs left by the birds, and a squirrel playing in the trees.

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Brian's take on our camping trip.

Having an evening snack. I think Jacob was in the bathroom!

The kids and Brian getting ready for our hike the next morning. Jacob was in the bathroom again. Doesn't Brian look thrilled!

Notice the rockin' camp hairdo!

This hollowed out log was next to the waterfall. They had piped water over to it so people could get a drink without actually having to walk in the water.

Open Thursday

Today we are packing the family up and headed out for an overnight camping trip. We are going to this place. We've been there twice before, but for some reason I never had my camera. I wanted pictures and have managed to whine about wanting to go back enough that Brian has finally given in. Brian doesn't mind camping so much. We went some when we lived in the states. He just doesn't like camping in the summer. In the heat. In the humidity. This place is up in the mountains so hopefully it won't be too hot...or humid. So I am calling this day...Open Thursday. Share what you want in the comments. Have a discussion amongst yourselves. I am turning off comment moderation so that they can publish all on their own. Please don't disappoint me. When I get back on Friday I want to see that people had fun in my comment section. Clean, wholesome fun. (Don't you just love when I throw that in there?)

Toothpaste misadventures.

Yesterday I went to the store to pick up a few things and found this on sale. Signal toothpaste. Normally toothpaste here is very expensive, but this particular box was on the 1 lira table! Wow! For less than a dollar I can buy a large tube of toothpaste.

I got home with my purchases and listened to the kids argue about who got to claim this tube of toothpaste for their very own. There is no such thing as sharing a tube of toothpaste in this house. One kid squeezes from the bottom, one never remembers to put the lid back on, one smears toothpaste all over the top of the tube, and so on. I was wishing I had purchased 4 tubes of toothpaste so that there didn't have to be a discussion about it!


As the kids discussed ownership of the toothpaste I happened to glance down at the box. I read through the ingredients so I could be a more informed consumer or something. Calcium Carbonate, Aqua, Sorbitol, and so on and so on. Until I came the the last ingredient in the toothpaste...


Formaldehyde. WHAT? Isn't that what they use in embalming? Isn't that what the frogs and worms in my biology class soaked in as they waited to be dissected? Do all toothpastes contain Formaldehyde? I checked the Colgate and the other tube of Signal and they didn't list this as an ingredient.

Now I don't know what to do. Throw away this brand new tube of toothpaste because it contains something that sounds a little iffy to me or be thankful that it contains a preservative of such high quality that it will eliminate the need to visit the dentist.

Wordless Wednesday

I'll add commentary to these pics when I wake up. Right now I am too tired to even think about it.

Thanks Kara for the pics!

Blending in

In yesterday's post I mentioned that my kids went to a Turkish school for the first two years we were here. Last night I was looking through some pictures and came across these. (The school was established in 1984...that was not the year we attended!) Guess which kids are mine! To see the pictures better you may want to click on the pictures to enlarge them.







The only picture I found of Jacob's class was at Christmas when they were all dressed in costumes. All the other pictures are in an album and I didn't want to pull them out.


Of course there is this one which was featured in a past blog post. His class was performing a dance. He was quite concerned about having to wear this pink shirt. The red ruffly one he had to wear for the Spanish dance they performed later was fine. Since it was red and red is his favorite color!

No amount of wearing the same clothes or speaking the language was going to help us! We stood out like sore thumbs. So much for assimilation!

Memories

All day yesterday and today I have been thinking about that blog review. I wasn't offended by anything the reviewer said. Everyone who left comments gave me great feedback. Made me think. But one comment that wasn't even left on my blog really hit me. The person left a comment on the original review site. The comment said

I'm sure she's lovely, but she's that kind of expat (usually Americans like myself) who just don't assimilate. That's why you're not getting what you're after Gene.

I thought a lot about those words. About assimilating into Turkish culture. She's right that we haven't totally assimilated. And while there are many ways that we could further adapt to our host culture there are things we have done to fit into the culture. Things like buying all Turkish furniture. We didn't have any of our stuff shipped here. We don't own a car, but our company has one we borrow on occasion. I would much rather take public transportation anyway. Everyone here thinks Americans are wealthy so we try not to perpetuate that myth as much as we can, and, well...we aren't wealthy at all so that helps! We have studied Turkish since we arrived. We are by no means fluent, but can conduct quite a bit of our lives in Turkish. Our kids went to Turkish schools for the first two years so that they could get Turkish culture and language. Their education suffered some at the time, but they were able to catch up when we moved them to an international school. I have only been keeping a blog for the last 2 years or so, and 7 months of that was spent in America. I wish I had been blogging when we first arrived. I'm sure the culture shock we went through, the many language frustrations, the complete inadequacy we felt as we tried to help the kids do homework in Turkish...all of that would be really interesting for me to look back on now. I know those posts would have been vastly different than the ones you are reading now. So many people who commented when I asked for feedback on what I could do to improve the blog said that I needed to share more of myself...how I feel about things. Since this comment brought back many of those early feelings I thought I would try to capture some of them here.

We decided to move to Turkey in the summer of 2001. We had never been to Turkey and had no idea what to expect. Oh, we watched videos on Turkey and read books about the culture, and thought we knew what we were getting into. Let me tell you...we had no clue.

We sold or gave away all of our furniture, sold our house, and moved all the things we weren't ready to get rid of to a storage unit. After months of preparation we were finally ready to move overseas in March of 2002. We moved to Turkey with 19 pieces of luggage. That was all. It seemed like a lot until we were trying to pack all that we thought we would need in those action packers. I was given a list of all the things you couldn't get but would probably want by an American woman who was living in Turkey. It was mostly a list of kitchen items. I found out later that this woman loved to cook. Even though I had never used things like mint extract and sea salt I packed them anyway. Surely she knew what I would need better than I did. The good pots and pans she recommended bringing were taken out of the luggage to make room for toys. We had four small children. I decided I would just buy pots in Turkey so that they could have the space. She recommended bringing good towels. To Turkey...the home of the Turkish towel. She said all the good towels were exported so we brought a few towels. We figured we would just buy whatever they had here to supplement what we brought. And the list went on. We packed those 19 bags full and got on the plane.

My first bit of culture shock happened immediately after arriving in Turkey. We were met at the airport by the guy who was going to be Brian’s business partner. He led us out to his van. Our two youngest kids were still in car seats in America. The van we were now about to ride in didn’t even have seatbelts much less car seats. My 2 and 4 year old loved it, but I was a nervous wreck! For the next 30 minutes I just prayed we would make it to the place we were to call home without getting killed by the insanely crazy driving I was witnessing out my window!

On the way to our place we passed many run down looking houses and some tall buildings. I had no idea that the tall buildings were apartment buildings. I fully expected to be living in one of the run down things we were passing. When we pulled up to our building it was like a dream. Our apartment building was new so there were only a few other tenants in it. We were the only Americans. Our new friends had already purchased a stove, washing machine, and refrigerator for us so all we had to do was get everything else we would need to live!

Those first few weeks all we did was shop. We bought mattresses first and slept on the floor. We slowly purchased all that we would need to actually be able to live here. Including nice pots and pans and nicer towels than I had ever owned from a seconds bin at the pazar. I had never shopped so much in my life. Honestly I don’t like to shop so it got old quite quickly for me. Picking out furniture when nothing looked like what I was used to was difficult. The couches and chairs were so firm. Nothing like the nice soft furniture in America. Mattresses were the same way. I think I had bruised hips for a month because of how hard the mattress was.

I think back on those shopping days and how frustrating it was. We couldn’t do anything by ourselves since we didn’t know any Turkish. I remember being laughed at by a check-out clerk and the lady standing behind me in line when I had no idea what she was asking me. I remember being flabbergasted by the lack of a line at a customer service desk. I will never forget the frustration I felt when our heater wasn't working and it took a gas man, a plumber, and an electrician to fix one appliance. Through all of that we managed to persevere. And we had several people who were gracious enough to take us places and translate for us as we pieced together a new life.

But all of that was nothing compared to how I felt about my kids. I had uprooted them from the only life they had ever known. I had taken them away from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins as well as friends. I had plopped them down in a place where they knew no one and not one word of the language they heard in the streets. I had to make sure they were adjusting before I could even think about myself. One of the things I remember repeating to them over and over was that we were a family, and as long as they had each other they had friends. I knew that would only work for so long though.

Next door to our apartment building was a vacant lot. It was littered with trash, broken bricks, and all kinds of treasures. It quickly became my kids’ favorite place to play. One day while they were outside playing a boy who looked to be about Will’s age came out of the building and started to play in the lot as well. For a while they played separately each observing the other. I watched from the window to see if they would play together despite the language barrier. Finally the Turkish boy joined my kids in building their playhouse. Words were exchanged, but I don’t know if they really understood each other. Later that afternoon when my kids came in they were so excited about the games they had played with their new friend. They went into a long drawn out story about the game of princess and bad guys they played. I have often wondered what the Turkish boy said to his parents about their game. Did he call it by the same name?

I think I will stop here. My mind is full with thoughts from those first few months. I think I will spread them out some.

(Oh...and Sra I totally had doner for lunch today and thought of you.)

Dirt road to fun

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Setting the mood

You know there is something to be said for ambiance. For character. For atmosphere.

Take the hotel we recently stayed in for example...


We stayed here. In this rock.


This is Brian standing in the doorway to our room. Small, quaint, and full of character.


The bed and "kitchenette".


The couch/extra bed...


The ceiling...


And every room had a telephone in it. I never did see anyplace to plug this telephone in, but thankfully I hadn't planned on making any calls. This, my friends, is character! OH, and the bathroom in our room held a sink, toilet, and shower all in the same small place...no curtain separating the shower from the rest of the room. If one wanted one could sit on the toilet and shower at the same time. It was small, but it had character...ambiance if you will.


And here I am standing on the side of the rock by the windows to our room. I look like an amazon woman despite only being 5'2". This doesn't show character or ambiance. It was one of three pictures of me so I thought I would throw it in.


This is Engin Hanim, the proprietor of the Tekelli House. She was a character. Actually...she was quite nice. When we arrived she invited us to have tea with her and her husband on the terrace. We did, and I managed to not make a total fool of myself despite the drug induced state I was in from the migraine medicine I had take about an hour before.


The view from the terrace.

After having tea Brian and I decided to head into town for coffee. Brian told me about this place he knew of that had great coffee drinks. We parked the car in a parking lot and started walking.


To get to that great coffee place we had to walk by this place. Of course I immediately wanted to have coffee here instead. I mean look at those beanbag chairs! And there were hookahs on every table. Not that we were going to partake, but they looked nice. Gave the place character. AND this place had several kinds of coffee drinks as well as milkshakes and smoothies on their menu. I was sold! Brian agreed that we could try this new place instead. The raspberry vanilla French Press Brian ordered looked and tasted like dirty water. He let it brew longer than necessary, but it still never got dark enough to be considered anything other than dirty coffee water. I ordered a smoothie after being assured that the smoothie was way thicker than a milkshake. I have had Turkish milkshakes and while they taste great they are basically a glass of cold chocolate milk. There is nothing thick and ice creamy about them. My smoothie came, and once again I enjoyed a tall glass of chocolate milk. I will never learn.

Ok...so the drinks were disappointing, but the beanbag chairs were comfy. At least mine was. Brian never did get comfortable in his. He tried two different beanbag chairs and then rearranged the beans in them several times before finally giving up and deciding that I had the only comfy chair in the place. Ahhh...

After that we did a little shopping. I had forgotten my jacket so I bought a wrap to use after it got dark and in the underground city we were planning to visit the next day. After shopping and walking around we decided it was time for dinner. Once again Brian knew of a place that had good food, and this time it had character as well. It was dark, and we had to take our shoes off to enter. Guests sit on cushions on the floor and eat their meal on a large copper/silver tray.


Score one for Brian. We both noticed how unflattering this picture of us sitting on the floor is, but I had to show you the atmosphere.


We ordered a combo appetizer plate that was yummy! Hummus, eggplant and potato stir fry, salsa, squash fritters, mushroom salad, and stuffed eggplant. Speaking of stuffed that is exactly how I felt after eating the appetizers.


Then my food came. I ordered Falafel. I had never had it before, and it was yummy! My waiter was a little skeptical of me liking it when I lifted the top of the tortilla to see what it looked like. Then when I could barely eat any of it because I had pigged out on the appetizer and because I was sitting on the floor which totally limited how much I could force into my stomach (this would be a great diet technique!) he commented that I must not have liked it. Brian tried to explain that I was just full, but I don't think he ever believed me. Oh well. If he only knew how much I love good food.


And finally I offer you this fine example of mood setting. There are no camels in Turkey, except for the few that are found around the touristy areas. Why? Because they create ambiance, character, atmosphere if you will. And it works. It totally works!

Where are all the troglodytes?

One of my favorite things to do when we go to Cappadocia is exploring the underground cities. These are basically caverns carved out of the rocks by hand. Some are a thousand years old or more. For more on the underground cities of Cappadocia you can read here, here, and here.

Brian and I have been to the two largest underground cities and wanted to do one that was less touristy.


We followed the signs for the village of Ozluce where there was supposed to be an underground city. When we drove up there was one lady in her doorway who pointed us to the parking lot/field/children's play place. We were the only people there. Yes! Much better than trying to explore an underground city full of tourists!


After we parked a man came running out of a building to meet Brian and point us in the right direction.


Brian standing at the entrance to the "under graund city".


Once inside the door we found these two delightful children. Mustafa and Aysegul were quite taken with us. Very giggly.


Ayhan, the caretaker, flipped on a light switch, handed Brian a flashlight, and pointed down this hallway. Basically we were left alone to go exploring.


At the end of the first tunnel we came to a large room. This is the doorway back out. These large stone doors were rolled in front of the openings to keep invaders out.


Wait...we thought we were being left alone. Aysegul and Mustafa were following us! Brian started asking them questions about different things in the cave. They were our tour guides. They had no qualms about going down dark passageways at all...quite impressive for a 2 and 3 year old. There were random light bulbs around. Some of them worked and some of them didn't.


All of these pictures were taken in the dark. I had no idea what I was actually getting until after I took them. Notice the nonworking light bulb in this picture.


There were kitchens, bedrooms, stables, wine and water cisterns, and all kinds of other rooms. They pretty much all looked the same.



Then I had to take this video because of how insane the whole thing seemed. This shows you how dark it was!


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And because the video is so dark here are some pictures of the actual tunnel we walked down.

Brian pointing the flashlight down the tunnel we are about to explore.


And we kept going...


And going...


Until finally finding this well. It did have a grate over the top of it so we weren't going to accidentally fall in. Notice the steps carved into the side of the well. And of course it wouldn't be Turkey if there wasn't trash thrown it it.


In the above video this is where we decided to stop. Who knows how much further we could have gone!


As we were leaving Ayhan took our picture in front of the wheel door. (I am wearing a wrap like thing that I had to buy the night before because I was cold. I know...I usually bring a jacket everywhere I go knowing that I will probably get cold at some point. The cave was quite chilly!)

This underground city is probably my favorite one so far. I loved that there weren't any other tourists. I loved that Ayhan just let us go exploring on our own. I loved that the kids were sweet and funny. And oh yeah...the fact that Ayhan told Brian that I had a sweet face didn't influence me at all!

I love Turkey!